An Elegy for Artemis Senior
by LuckyLink7
Summary: After attempting (perhaps unwisely) to 'holiday', Artemis Fowl is suddenly being hunted down by a notorious gang and followed by gloomy thoughts of his former lover Holly Short, as well as Butler. Will he live to see another day, and will he ever see Holly again?
1. Chapter 1

**This is a stand-alone fanfiction set after the events of my previous story, 'Wreaking Havoc'. ****It won't have as many chapters.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

It was rude, but people couldn't help but stare. A mother pushing a pram quickened her pace to put space between the boy and herself, feeling sorry but understandably wary: the young man had a vampire-like pale complexion, whitening all the more alarmingly in contrast with his black hair. He had unequal eyes, one startlingly blue and the other a slightly milder hazel, dark shadows smudging the skin beneath them. His eyes seemed too large for his face, which looked pinched with his cheekbones jutting out.

The most unnerving thing about this boy, however, was not his appearance: it was something else, as if there was a perpetual cloud about him; a cold, dark aura.

Slouching a little, his suit crumpled from the flight, Artemis Fowl the Second rubbed his face wearily. He remembered in a vague sort of way that he should straighten his shoulders, otherwise he would look like a drunken gnome who had too much slug ale-  
Artemis hit his head with his fist, causing more people to disperse from the immediate vicinity.

"You're a genius, damnit," he muttered to himself, only distantly aware that he was looking like a complete madman. He jerked his gold-plated suitcase along behind him, possibly thankfully ignorant to the stares he was receiving. "Forgetting these...these things are...are...elemen..." He trailed off, stopping in his tracks. Staring at the crouched figure in the checkout line, sifting through her bag, Artemis found he was failing to breathe. The closely cropped auburn hair, the small hands...

But then the person got up, and Artemis felt a great surge of disappointment rush through him. The woman was easily over a metre sixty, and when she glanced over her shoulder Artemis was treated to the face of a complete stranger.

_Well, what did you expect?_ He thought bitterly. _Holly would have no reason to be here._

Artemis skulked out of the airport, the hot Australian air stifling him. He shied from the sun, his uncanny resemblance to a vampire hilariously proven further.

_A cold drink. An air-conditioned room_, he thought, sweat already forming on his forehead. And then, _blast this suit_.

He wondered whether it was Butler's idea of a sick joke to send him on holiday to what had to be the glaringly sunniest place on the globe. Did the man _want_ him to get ill?

Artemis looked at his hands, which rivalled those of a skeleton. All right, so maybe he needed a holiday. But being in his room back in Ireland thinking endlessly over how his life had turned over so quickly could hardly be any different to being in an air-conditioned hotel room in Australia thinking the exact same thing. Except now he had jet lag as well.

* * *

Artemis wondered if he had put on too much sunscreen. He knew his face was pale-white - after retreating into solitude two years after events involving an insane, exiled sprite, his separation from Holly and now the loss of Butler, he had lost any tan he managed to get - but he wondered if it was possible to get whiter than white. Surely you couldn't, much like you couldn't get blacker than black.

People can call it what they like, he thought as he stared into the bathroom mirror, but cream, eggshell and ivory are all white. He remembered that he himself had admonished his mother for not knowing the difference once, and felt like a hypocrite.

Artemis decided that it turned out he didn't have enough sunscreen on, washed his hands and left.

* * *

The boy - now a young man - was standing in Hyde Park in Sydney, Australia, feeling completely vulnerable without his bodyguard and at an utter loss as to what he should do now. He spotted a group of young men in the distance.

Socialise?

Artemis shuddered.

"What a complete waste of time," he said, to no one in particular.

After a few minutes, Artemis felt a pair of eyes drilling into him. Looking down, he started as a little girl stared up at him, wide-eyed. She held a plastic yellow Frisbee in one hand.

"Mister, Tommy says you look scary," she said. She paused, glancing over her shoulder. "He's crying now."

Understandably, Artemis felt a little offended, but also amused. He hadn't felt amused in months.

"Do _you_ find me scary?" he asked. The little girl stuck her chin out defiantly.

"No," she said. "I'm not _Tommy_." She stared at him for a few seconds more before a huge grin split her face and she ran off squealing, dropping her Frisbee on the ground. She disappeared behind a large tree about twenty metres away, and soon two small faces were poking out from its side, watching him.

Artemis grinned, the action uncomfortable after frowning for so long. He feinted forwards, the two children screaming with glee as they vanished behind the tree once more. Artemis waited for them to reappear and began to walk towards them, causing them to abandon the tree and run off, shouting with laughter. Artemis took a few more steps before nearly tripping over something. The girl's Frisbee.

Artemis picked it up, hurrying after the children.

"Hey! Wait!" He shouted, waving the toy over his head. "You - forgot - this!"

He was already running out of breath. This was unbelievable.

The children were out of sight.

By the time he reached a thick mass of parents and toddlers feeding ducks by a pond, the two children were out of sight. Artemis slowed down, looking blankly at the small Frisbee in his hand. What should he do now? Return it to where it had been dropped? Throw it in the bin? Take it back to Ireland with him as a sad sort of souvenir?

In the end, Artemis was spared having to make any such decision by spotting two children in the distance, running towards the city. One with dark hair, the other with fair hair. It could only be them.

Artemis began to run again –well, more a swift sort of jog –and he reached the heart of the bustling city in time to see the youngsters darting round a corner.

_Youngsters_, he thought.

_D'arvit, I'm getting old_. And then he hit his head for swearing in the taboo language.

The traffic lights seemed to take forever to change but, scientifically speaking, that was all in one's head –especially when in a rush.

_And why don't you just shut up_, Artemis thought, trying to be wilfully oblivious to the fact that people were looking at him strangely. So what if he was wearing an Armani suit? He was eighteen now, damnit; and also, he could put on as much sunscreen as he wanted.

_You're talking to yourself_, replied his brain. _There's a myth that talking to oneself is the first sign of madness, but that's preposterous. Everyone talks to themselves at one point or another, and –_

_I can't believe I use that word. Preposterous._

And then another voice entered his mind.

_You...understand, Artemis?_

Artemis closed his eyes, willing himself to block out the voice. But it was persistent.

_It's for the best._

Thankfully –or not, depending on whether you were an optimist or a pessimist –a sharp pain to the back of his knees caused him to buckle forwards and catch himself just in time, Holly's voice vanishing as quickly as it had come. Jolted back to reality, Artemis stumbled along the crossing, the careless mother with her savage pram already trotting blithely ahead.

Artemis was certain by now that he had lost the children when he heard shrill laughter coming from around the back of a bookstore. He ran towards the sound, but after about a minute of traversing behind the dark behinds of the city shops he had to accept that he had lost them.

_I should probably get out of here_, he thought. _I already look most suspicious_. But he kept walking.

If he was to be honest, Artemis welcomed the litter-covered, alley-like place. It shaded him from the relentless sun, and even if it smelled a bit, it was peaceful.

Artemis stopped. The smell had changed; subtly, yes, but there was definitely another underlying scent.

Urine. There was the smell of urine. Usually, this wouldn't be such a big deal - in fact, some people could say that it would be a big deal if there _wasn't_ - but this was unusual.

Artemis lifted his head and inhaled deeply. Ammonia, definitely ammonia, and acetone. His heart sped up. It couldn't be. Could it?

The boy turned slowly on the spot, trying to pinpoint the exact location. He was soon facing the building he was standing behind, his nose nearly touching the wood.

"All right," he muttered. "I see. Not too clever, but not too stupid either."

Artemis ran his hand across the wall until he felt a slight ridge. Smiling mirthlessly, he pulled it. The hidden door swung open, and soon Artemis found himself staring into a cramped room, a fake wall separating it from the actual shop. Test tubes and beakers were full of chemicals, bubbling above bunsen burners.

A clandestine lab.

Artemis realised that he should probably leave. If the chemicals were being heated, the person making the drugs would be returning anytime soon.

Artemis began to back out, dialling the police number.

"Good afternoon," he said. "There is a clandestine lab in the city where Hyde Park is, in a faded cerulean-painted building..." He deduced what he knew rapidly, looking about hidden room. "A pharmacy, I would expect, and there is a fake wall separating the lab from the real store. The lab can be accessed via a hidden back door, and-"

The phone was torn out of Artemis's hand and thrown to the ground with a loud crunch. He lurched forwards, the gang member's fingers scraping the back of his jacket. Artemis managed to get behind a long table full of bottles and test tubes, his back to the fake wall.

The gang member snorted, standing at the entrance. His head had been completely shaved, the shiny dome thickly tattooed - much like his burly arms.

"You think you can hide back there?" the man said. From his accent, Artemis could only assume he was from South America. "Stupid boy." His arm flexed, and a tattoo - a word, inked into the skin - stood out: Cobra.

Artemis had never been called stupid in his life. It was a strangely eye-opening experience.

"Pardon me," he said, "But there's no need to be rude."

He was astounded at how calm he sounded. Inwardly, he was screaming his lungs out. His fascination at seeing a real gang member was severely out of proportion to his fear and rationality...not to mention the absence of Butler, which was most uncomfortably profound at the moment.

Bald Guy ignored this. He stepped into the lab, his boots clicking on the cracked tiles. Three more gang members came into view.

Artemis's fingers were scrabbling against the wall behind him, his eyes flitting across the contents of the table in front of him. His hand hit a large bump, and with relief he grasped the handle.

Bald Guy did not miss this. He lunged forwards, reaching the table just as Artemis flung open the door to the shop. The boy threw the Frisbee at a beaker containing oxidiser, leaping into what was indeed a pharmacy, safely out of the way by the time the oxidiser spilled into a plastic container.

The chemicals reacted violently, smoke billowing out of the container in thick plumes. Artemis managed to close the door behind him before there was a small-scale explosion, making the whole building shudder on its foundations.

Artemis was thrown through the pharmacy as the door flew off its hinges. The customers began screaming, running for the exit, jabbering about terrorists.

Out of the haze, a figure began limping towards him. A bald, livid figure.

Artemis got up and began to run.

* * *

_They are going to kill me now. I have to learn to protect myself, and protect others. I want to be more than a legitimate person._


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to Nello Orella and ILoveFowl for reviewing ~ !**

**Nello Orella - I guess I'll have to reply on here then! Thank you so much for your review ~ it made me happy as always! **

* * *

**Dublin, Ireland - Eight Months Later**

The television in Fowl Manor's gym was blaring overhead, the news channel on as usual. Sweat trickled down Artemis Fowl's face as he ran on the treadmill.

Artemis was almost unrecognisable. After what had happened at the lab in Sydney, with the bald man's words still ringing in his ears - _I will find you and kill you_ - he had been shoved, most unexpectedly, into a life or death situation. He would have to learn to defend himself, and if he ever wanted to fight crime he would have to be reasonably fit.

Yes; Artemis wanted to fight what he had used to do best: crime. His separation from Holly Short and the retirement of his old bodyguard, Butler, had left him emotionally weakened and frighteningly lonely. However, after what happened in Sydney he realised that he could still be useful after all. He could still give his life purpose. And, above all, he could forget about his loneliness.

Gone were the hollow cheeks; Artemis's face was still a little thin, a little tired-looking, but he looked healthy. His skin was a more pleasant colour, the result of jogging twenty laps around the manor a day in the sun, and his body did not look thin any longer. The only scrap of likeness to a vampire were his eyes, which still had dark lines beneath them, the result of countless sleepless nights.

Artemis had also ditched his suits, opting for a more contemporary style; plaid button-downs, sport shoes with neon laces or low-cut converse, and skinny jeans - usually black, which generally reflected his mood. He figured that if he was going to track Cobra's leader down, he might as well do it subtly.

Artemis pushed his sweaty hair out of his face, turning the treadmill off. His hair had stopped being neat a long time ago, but whether this was also to fit in or just the result of laziness was uncertain.

"...The much-anticipated international conference, the 2013 Ireland Conference, will have its members - leaders from twenty seven countries - discussing important global changes to be dealt with. One of the most significant is to be about the failing world economy and the worldwide distribution of drugs. Amongst the honoured guests is the Minister of Foreign Affairs in Sweden, Mr. Knutsen, who has graciously agreed to hold an interview with RTÉ. Mr. Knutsen!"

A middle-aged man appeared on the television screen, his brown hair greying at the sides.

"I am honoured to be here," Mr. Knutsen said. His voice was smooth, his words fluid. It was clear that he was a gifted speaker.

Artemis flicked the television off. This talk about the Ireland Conference had been going on for weeks now; there was hardly going to be any new news as of yesterday.

Walking to the kitchen, Artemis was reminded of how large and empty Fowl Manor really was. His family had moved to the countryside to start a new life; he had refused to go. And now he was alone.

Artemis grabbed a glass of water and downed it in one. He was just refilling it when the phone rang, the ringing echoing dismally.

"Hello?" he said.

"Artemis, it's Butler."

"Oh, hello, old friend," said Artemis. "Do you know, I've really been working your gym equipments. You would be glad to see that there is no longer a speck of dust on the dumbbells."

There was a rush of static as Butler laughed. "I'm glad to hear that, Artemis. I suppose you are still going to tell me that your sudden interest in an activity you previously loathed is still only to do with a sudden, mysteriously sparked interest?"

"Very mysteriously, indeed," Artemis agreed.

Butler's voice grew serious. "Are you really all right, Artemis? It must be lonely in the manor. Perhaps I should visit one day?"

"No, no, it's fine," said Artemis. "I'm actually a tad busy at the moment."

"Really."

"Most positively. I'll call you back, Butler, is that all right with you? I need to take a shower – I am sweating profusely."

There was a louder rush of static.

"One last thing, then," said Butler. "Holly emailed me."

Artemis froze, his thumb on the end call button.

"What?"

"As the genius you are, I'm going to assume you heard me the first time," Butler said calmly. "She wanted to know how you were doing."

"And?"

"And I said I didn't know, because you left before I could see you."

"I was violently ill at that accursed desert, Butler. You may be immune to Australia's burning sun, but I am not. I nearly shrivelled. I was in no state to meet up."

"Which is why I called you now, to see how you were doing. You seem all right; you still have your dry sense of humour, at any rate."

Artemis pulled away from the phone briefly and stared at it. He had humour?

"- So now I'll have to call her back and say so. She'll be stunned to hear you've been working out. Stunned being the ultimate understatement."

"Look, Butler," said Artemis. He set his glass down a little harder than he meant to, gripping the phone tightly. "Old friend. The sweat is drying on my freshly washed training shirt. I have to go."

Butler conveniently did not hear the last part. "What happened between you two?" He asked. "To be completely honest, the curiosity is gnawing at my insides."

Abandoning the glass, Artemis stuck his head under the tap and drank from the running water. Once he had resurfaced, he went to the leather couch in the first lounge and flopped onto it. He was eager to share his thoughts.

"Old friend, I'm not really very eager to share my thoughts at the moment," he said, putting his feet on the armrest. "I'm on my way to the shower – you above all should know that after a gruelling two hours in the gym, one would feel most uncomfortable."

There was a disbelieving grunt. "Just tell me, Artemis. I know you're itching to let it all out."

Artemis's fingers went slack on the phone, and he sighed. He really did _so_ want to 'let it all out'.

"I would feel like a girl at a slumber party," he objected weakly. Butler did not answer, so he simply sighed once more. "Well, as you know, we got together two years ago after Bay and the Rebel Group was arrested.

"We got along perfectly for around four months. It was the best four months of my life, but – I won't lie – it was also one of the hardest. There were so many obstacles in our way, Butler. First, I underwent a growth spurt that left me nearly twice Holly's height. I felt like a _paedophile_, Butler. We couldn't even go out in public, because she was clearly a fairy, and because…well…again, the paedophile assumption people would make. We had plenty of fights, more than any normal couple – but we _weren't_ a normal couple, and we never would be. We have a forty year gap between us, for goodness sakes. And although she loved me, Holly began to withdraw and become depressed."

"_Because_ she loved you," said Butler. His voice was low; he was whispering without even realising it.

Artemis swallowed. "Yes, old friend. Because she loved me. And it was killing me too, it was killing both of us, because we loved each other so much. So in the end, she put her foot down."

There was silence on the other side.

"She left you?"

Artemis covered his face with a cushion, pressing down just hard enough to keep his pricking eyes clear.

"Yes," he muttered. "She left me, she didn't even say goodbye, just said that we should never see each other again, that "_it's for the best_", and then…she left."

"I'm so sorry, Artemis."

"Don't be. It was for the best, after all. We wouldn't have been happy."

"You're not happy now."

Artemis swung his legs down off the couch and got up, heading for the bathroom.

"Of course not. But I've discovered a little something to keep my mind busy."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews ~ you guys are awesome! **

* * *

Artemis had always thought he was immune to female attraction, but it seemed that exercising had a most unfortunate side-effect. Now he was just another boy/man (he couldn't decide which, because although the idea of forever being a child prodigy was compelling, so was the thought of shaving), and he would no longer be cringed away from or ignored.

"This…sucks!" Artemis muttered, hurrying into the manor, cheeks flaring. He wasn't embarrassed because of his incredibly awkward use of colloquial language – he still hadn't gotten the hang of it, and to be completely honest he wasn't very bothered by it.

He was in utter discomfit because a group of tweenage girls had cornered him on the street and nearly smothered him with their incessant giggling and Taylor Swift perfume (at least, that's what he assumed, since he had been dealing with tweenagers). Now he changed gracefully from flaming scarlet to sickly-pale as the memories forced their way to the front of his brain.

"_Hehe omigod go talk to him already!"_

"_Ew, he's like three years older than you, Becks!"_

"_You talk to him for me!"_

Apparently, 'you' meant 'a dozen or so girls', because a very frightened Artemis trying to hide behind a newspaper outside a coffee shop – he had been studying up on Rey Diaz, the drug lord and leader of Cobra – was quickly submerged.

A coughing, spluttering red mess, Artemis had barely made it home alive.

"This is…_stupid_." Artemis marched upstairs to his study, throwing himself into his chair and pulling up a browser. "This is…" He paused, already out of colloquial words. "This sucks."

He typed _Rey Diaz_ into the search bar and almost pounded the enter key in his frustration. He felt like screaming.

The notorious name churned out pages and pages of results, passing a hundred thousand hits easily. Clearly, this man had stirred up a lot of trouble.

Artemis began trawling the Internet, going through the articles, some even dating back to the nineties. A notebook at his side, he began taking down notes.

About an hour into his research, the phone rang. Artemis rubbed his eyes and grabbed it.

"Yes, hello?" he said, a little irritated. He was tired and this morning had not been enjoyable.

"Artemis? Is this Artemis?"

Artemis blinked. That voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite pinpoint it.

"…Artemis the Second speaking."

"Oh, Artemis! I'm so glad to hear from you! I had always been planning to meet up with you some day, but I never got round to it – how _are_ you?"

"Uh…" Artemis blinked rather rapidly, confusion still stirring up his hazy brain. "Who is this?"

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other side.

"It's Minerva, you fool! Minerva Paradizo! How _could_ you forget me?"

Frowning, Artemis brought back memories of the French girl. She had been a child prodigy as well when they met so many years ago. Blonde curls, glasses, fairly attractive – yes, he remembered her. One of the few who could match his wits.

"Oh, yes, Minerva. How do you do?"

Minerva sounded disappointed. "You don't seem very enthusiastic."

"Mmm." Artemis wasn't in the mood for conversation, even if he was rather interested in hearing from her again. "Could I call you back? I'm rather tired and –"

"_Oh_, but I just wanted to ask you something," said Minerva. "Really, just one thing."

"Mmm," said Artemis.

"Stop saying that!"

"Saying what?"

"You – ugh." Minerva sighed, then giggled. "All right, so I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to Hard Rock Café with me today, the one near your manor. I've been _dying_ to meet you again. Do you know how _awfully_ boring it actually is, not having anyone at my intellectual level?"

Artemis turned his computer off, suddenly very weary. "You do get used to it."

"Well, I never did. Not really. So, what do you say?"

Swivelling slowly in his chair, Artemis stared at the ceiling as he thought idly. Well, why not? _I might as well get used to being Holly-free and reach out a little, flirt a bit, be like other guys my age_, he thought. He should do _something_, anyway, instead of just moping about.

"Five?" he said.

* * *

Artemis almost didn't recognise Minerva when he went into the café. There was a young, slender woman sitting at a table near the back, her long blonde hair falling in loose curls and framing a pretty face. Artemis, for some reason looking for a young girl instead of a young woman, completely overlooked her until his eyes roved over her once more and she gave him a huge smile. Jumping to her feet, she ran towards him. Without a warning she leapt at him, her arms around his neck and her legs in the air.

Artemis cried out and staggered backwards, barely keeping his balance for long enough to wrap his arms around her before crashing into a table and falling to the ground.

Minerva lifted her torso up using her arms, relieving the weight on Artemis's chest, and grinned down at him.

"Sorry," she said. "But I saw those toned arms of yours and I just had to try."

Wincing, Artemis didn't answer. He began to raise his head before groaning and dropping it back to the ground.

"It's nice to meet you too, Minerva," he murmured.

The manager came rushing towards them and helped Artemis to his feet, talking rapidly but somehow having every word missed by the boy.

"…If nothing's broken, because we have a phone and I would be happy to call the ambulance."

"Mmm," said Artemis, limping to the nearest table. "You're welcome."

Five minutes later, Artemis and Minerva were safely seated and waiting for their coffee to arrive.

"So," said Minerva, smiling at him, "You've really changed a lot. And your dress sense – I'm extremely glad you finally decided to reserve those suits for formal occasions."

"I…uh…thank you," said Artemis, for some reason rather shy. He stared at her face, his fingers tangled together on his lap. Why was he feeling like this?

"Is there something on my face?" she asked suddenly.

"No! No," Artemis said quickly. "I…I was just thinking that I had never seen such a beautiful face before." Apart from Holly, in his opinion, but he was never to think of her again.

This had not meant to be a pickup line of any sort, as he was simply being honest, but Minerva blushed and began fanning herself in as nonchalant a way as possible.

"Thanks," she said, giggling. "You're rather attractive yourself."

Artemis blinked. He had successfully – and inadvertently – flirted with this woman. She was now looking at him in a way rather reminiscent of Holly, and he felt sick. He looked away just as the coffee came, and he grabbed his immediately to avoid making eye contact with Minerva. The hot liquid burnt his tongue as he drank and he barely managed to cover a wince.

Minerva wrapped her long fingers around her coffee. "How have you been doing?" she asked.

Artemis shrugged. "All right."

"Well, _I've_ been doing superb," she said, looking smug. "I won a Nobel Prize, did you know?"

"No," said Artemis. "I did not."

There was a pause in which Minerva stared at him patronisingly and Artemis stared back in wonder. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the young French girl he had met a few years ago had blossomed so suddenly into a beautiful woman.

Was it possible that puberty even worked like that? How _was_ that possible? He really must research this – he had always thought he knew everything about the subject (and almost every other subject about everything), but it seemed that Shakespeare was correct: "Experience is by industry achieved, and perfected by the swift course of time". It seemed he would perfect his knowledge on puberty through experience, and research was clearly not enough.

He must have said the quote out loud because Minerva was looking at him strangely.

"Shakespeare?" she said, her plucked eyebrows raised.

"Indeed." Artemis chanced another sip at his coffee, and found to his relief that he got away unscathed. "So, tell me. How did you manage to get a Nobel Prize? It was only a matter of time, of course, but I'm curious. In fact, I would have expected you to receive one years ago."

Minerva smirked at this flattering comment. "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them," she said in a superior manner, stirring her cappuccino. "I was born great, you were born great; but while you had more greatness thrust upon you – forced to save me, which I'm thankful of, by the way, forced to save the People, forced into crime to exercise your enormous brain –"

"Another Shakespeare quote, I see," said Artemis, "And also, I did not _force_ myself into crime to _exercise my enormous brain_. I was simply rather like-minded with criminals such as my –"

"– While I achieved more greatness by doing good," continued Minerva, speaking over him. People at nearby tables glanced over nervously, confused by the strange conversation. "What I'm saying is, I haven't just won the Nobel Prize. I've also won countless other, although lesser, prizes, and I write psychology books read by renown scientists all over the globe. My name is famous; I achieved greatness. I wasn't forced into anything. So I could go at my own pace. Nothing's a race anymore; I don't work for anyone. I think it's time you did as I do."

More intrigued than he expected, Artemis leant back and steepled his fingers. His head was clearer now, no longer muddled by annoying, intruding thoughts. "Hmm," he said. "So you're telling me that I should only lend my 'greatness' as I wish?"

"You shouldn't have to be relied on by everyone all the time," agreed Minerva. "I, personally, absolutely _loathe_ being controlled. Isn't it so frustrating when you don't have time to yourself, work on a few private projects, possibly to release to the public?"

Artemis felt like laughing. Don't have time to himself? He had far too much time to himself, that was the problem. But he saw what she meant.

"I don't particularly have much interest in being famous," he said. Minerva's eyebrows rose even higher.

"Oh, you don't?" she said. "My, Artemis, you really have changed."

"I craved gold," said Artemis. "Not status."

"You can get gold by being famous."

Artemis rolled his eyes. Sometimes, as much of a genius as she was, Minerva could be quite transparent.

"What project do you want my aid with?" he asked.

Minerva was stunned by his outright question. "I –"

"Really, you don't have to beat around the bush," he added. Minerva's cheeks darkened slightly.

"Well, it's not big," she said. "It's not much work. Just a project." She paused. "It has to do with the Ireland Conference."

Now it was Artemis's turn to raise his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"I want to take part in it," she said in a rush. Artemis sat up so abruptly that his head span.

"_What_?" he said. "Are you – you're not serious?"

Still red, Minerva drank some coffee in silence. Artemis watched her in disbelief.

"Why?" he said.

Minerva set her cup down. "Artemis, you do know that I have never forgiven you for outwitting me regarding the demon a while back, don't you?"

Artemis, despite his shock at what his friend wanted to do, began to wonder whether her over-the-top display of affection earlier had simply been bait, and at the moment he found the only thing he wanted to do was run – regardless of whether or not he would get an answer out of her concerning the conference.

"Well, I suppose I –"

"Good, just clearing that up. Also, this is besides the point, but you've gotten rather mellow. You're letting me walk all over you. What _is_ the matter with you? Perhaps the suits had some sort of strange power that made you a walking, talking git?" She was back to normal now, speaking in that pompous manner of hers.

"A _what_?"

Minerva slapped her hand on the table, making Artemis jump. "But as I said, that's besides the point. I'm curious about something; the last time we met I said you would be my next project. Did you ever stop to wonder about what I meant by that?"

Artemis, thoroughly confused by how quickly the conversation had changed, barely managed a shake of his head. Minerva sighed.

"Typical," she said. "I suppose you'll find out, then."

Artemis blinked. "Does this have anything to do with the project you were talking about earlier?"

Smiling a little impishly, Minerva got to her feet.

"I don't know," she said. "Does it?"

Artemis stood up as well. "I'll pay," he said. Minerva giggled.

"Ooh, you're becoming quite the gentleman, aren't you?" she said, and she patted his cheek. Artemis lurched backwards instinctively and Minerva laughed. "We will speak again soon, okay? I'm assuming you've accepted to join in on my project, so we'll have to keep in contact."

"I –" Artemis stopped. Minerva was nearly at the door now. Thoughts rushed through his head – the most prominent was the one he had been thinking about earlier in the day. _I might as well get used to being Holly-free and reach out a little, flirt a bit, be like other guys my age._ "Would you like to go on a date with me on Saturday?"

Minerva's smile widened, revealing straight white teeth. "I should love to."

* * *

**I can't remember Minerva. Therefore, I just made her into something vaguely Minerva-ish, in my head.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is basically fluff, but it's nice fluff, so enjoy :). I am reeeally busy now, so it's getting increasingly difficult to update! Please bear with me, and thank you all for reading and reviewing! :)**

* * *

The alarm went off at 9:30 am, the shrill ringing echoing throughout the manor that sleepy morning. Artemis pushed his duvet down almost robotically, swinging his legs off the bed. Drowsy, he staggered to his en suite and turned on the cold water. He splashed the water over his face before turning it off and looking up to stare at his dripping reflection.

_Today's the day_, he thought.

He turned on the shower, undressed and got in, letting the hot water run down his back, plastering his hair to his head.

_Today denotes the beginning of a new Artemis, strong as the sister of the Greek god Apollo._

Artemis got out of the shower, dried himself, wrapped a towel around his waist and headed back to his room. He opened his wardrobe and scrutinised its contents: his precious Armani suits still took up the centre - and majority - of the wardrobe, but now there was also an abundance of casual clothing. He ran his slender fingers across the clothes, hesitating at the suits before stopping at a plaid shirt and jeans and pulling them out.

_Holly does not exist anymore._

He got changed, standing in front of his full-length mirror which balanced on two clawed, brass feet.

_You have feelings for Minerva_.

Artemis studied his reflection thoughtfully, and he rolled his sleeves as an afterthought.

_Enjoy yourself._

* * *

A mere fifteen minutes after waking up, Artemis was already out the door. If he had stopped to wonder about it, he would have remembered the hours he had spent in front of the mirror, trying on different combinations of clothes so long ago at his party, just before he was to meet Holly for a borderline date.

That cherished memory, the one thing that had kept Artemis up for so many nights and going for so many months, was banished from his mind with the clang of the front door.

"Warm Bodies," called Minerva, holding up two tickets. "I bought tickets to watch Warm Bodies."

Artemis found himself staring at her. She was wearing a figure-hugging, black-and-white dress that he found both fascinating and rather uncomfortable to look at. Young men looked her up and down appreciatively as she walked over to him.

_They are positively ogling_.

But Artemis didn't feel anything more than the tiniest twinge of irritation. What was wrong with him? Shouldn't he be leaping with jealousy, taking Minerva in his arms to show she was him, if he was interested in her?

_You are just fatigued from all the recent goings-on_, he thought. _Of course you are interested in her_. He took a ticket from her, barely listening to his greeting as he mulled over his predicament. _She is tall, beautiful, blonde, extremely intelligent and incredibly ambitious. It would be wrong to think of her in any other way_.

He looked at the ticket off-handedly before doing a double-take and staring at it.

"Warm Bodies?" he said. He felt his old attitude return. "Really, Minerva, I would never have thought that you of all people would want to watch a film directed at such a young, immature demographic."

Minerva looked peeved for a second before relaxing and giggling. "Oh, Arty," she said, and Artemis felt himself bristling at the pet name. "I think you seem to forget that I _am_ a female. I enjoy these things, even if I _am_ a genius."

Artemis brought his attitude back under control, reminding himself that he was to be a different Artemis from now on. A successfully 'teenage' and flirtatious one, he hoped.

"Of course," he said. "I'm sorry to be so impudent, Minerva." _No. Stop. Small words_. "I mean –"

"Are you going to buy me something to eat?" said Minerva. "Or are we going to stand around like time-wasting loiterers as the film starts?"

Artemis scowled inwardly and strode over to the food counter.

"What would you like?" he asked Minerva. She gave him a sweet smile.

"Popcorn," she said. "The largest kind."

Artemis paid and they headed into the cinema. They found themselves seated at the back, and the movie had just started. Artemis, who had honestly never been to a cinema before, found himself strangely transfixed by the enormous screen.

By the time they were halfway into the movie, Artemis wondered if he was going to fall asleep. A zombie falling in love and changing back into a human? How was this even remotely possible in any way?

He leaned in to Minerva. "This makes no sense whatsoever," he muttered. "That man is literally a rotting corpse. His heart has ceased to beat long ago, and after a day all of his organs will have decayed and deteriorated. His brain is dead; he cannot think. How is it possible that –"

"Artemis," interrupted Minerva, never removing her eyes from the screen, "Shut up."

Artemis shut up. He leant back in his seat and pretended to watch, although in reality he was just staring blankly at the screen as his brain worked. He had to do something – didn't all dates have something happen in dimly lit cinemas?

_Orion…I cannot believe I am doing this, but…I need your help._

_Oh, so you finally want my valiant presence? Although you aren't really a damsel in distress, I suppose I'll still help. The girl is very pretty, by the way, and I really can't see why you have no feelings towards her._

Artemis experimented with some more colloquial language. _Shut up_.

He let the awful being he had suppressed for so long surface, wondering fervently whether he would regret this. But he was clearly not going to get over Holly by sitting like a rag doll at his first chance of a successful date.

He watched in dread as his arm twitched.

_No. Not that. Please not that_.

Orion lifted his arm and placed it around Minerva's shoulders. She jumped and looked at him, genuinely surprised, before giving a rather unnerving grin.

"Arty," she said softly. "I didn't know you had it in you."

_Don't call me Arty_.

Orion leaned in close, Artemis clutching at his face in despair. He almost couldn't bring himself to listen to what was said next. "You are like a princess to me."

_No! Nononono–_

Minerva smirked and shrugged his arm off. "Thank you, gallant knight," she said.

Completely missing the sarcasm, Orion puffed his chest out in pride. "May I hold your hand?"

"No, I need it to eat," she replied, and Orion deflated a little.

_That's enough. Withdraw, good soldier_.

Curiously abiding, Orion vanished and Artemis had control over himself once again. He swore to not speak or move an inch until the end of the movie, and tried to pretend he did not see Minerva stealing glances and smirks his way.

* * *

"How was it?"

The two left the cinema, Artemis throwing the partially eaten popcorn box in the bin.

"The screen size was quite impressive, roughly 600 by 900 inches, wouldn't you think? But the resolution was very disappointing; HD-DVDs are so much more –"

"I meant the movie," said Minerva, rolling her eyes. Artemis hit himself mentally; he was really quite an awful date.

"It – it was fantastic," he said, and felt blood rush to his face as he remembered Orion's daring acts. Minerva looked at him.

"Really?"

"…Very much so."

"Well, for me it was quite a disappointment," said Minerva matter-of-factly. "Really, it's the kind of thing that could only ever look good on paper. I should have seen it earlier."

Artemis didn't know what to say to this, so he found himself calling on Orion again.

_Please_.

"And also," she continued, "You are really quite endearing when you blush."

Artemis blinked. "I – I wasn't blushing." _Good. Do not speak formally, whatever happens. Do not. Do not –_

He felt Orion struggling to surface once more and at once had misgivings. His sub-conscious could just make everything worse.

_No. I didn't mean it. Stay back. Stay back. _

"My beautiful lady, would you like to have dinner with me? The night is still young."

_No_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the next chapter, thanks for reading, and review if you like it! :)**

**Also, when I said there wouldn't be much Artemis x Holly…I may have been exaggerating that. There's actually going to be quite a bit of them, just later on.**

* * *

Artemis decided to walk around and choose the most expensive restaurant he could find near the cinema, because he had plenty of spare cash and why not.

_And you have no experience with dates_, said Orion. _Come on, Arty! Let me drive this date for you. I'll make it so sweet and romantic – I'm not saying you aren't…although…you aren't…_

_Shut up_.

Artemis was finding it hard trying to keep Orion in check and saying something flirty and date-ish to Minerva at the same time. Thankfully, she was doing most of the talking as they walked down the darkening streets.

"Are you still in contact with the People?" she asked suddenly. This shook Artemis momentarily, because it didn't seem like a very date-friendly topic. Weren't you supposed to talk about what a lovely evening it was, or at least flirt a little? Unless talking about fairies counted as flirting.

_Perhaps it is a metaphor_, he mused. _Fairies…_

_You sound like an idiot, Artemis._

_Shut up, Orion. I have never attended a date before._

_*Snort*. 'Attended'. I can tell._

Stopping outside a fancy-looking restaurant, Artemis looked at Minerva. The streetlight made her face shine, making it look even more beautiful.

"Here?" she said, briefly distracted. "The steaks cost fifteen pounds."

Artemis shrugged, favouring 'teen' language over his usual, sometimes sarcastically intellectual responses. "So?"

_You're being cold, Artemis! Warm! Warm! Warm!_

_Just…hold your tongue…shut up._

Minerva deliberated for a second before giving him a slightly malicious smile, her eyes half-lidded. She sauntered in, the bell jangling loudly, and went to a table right at the back. Artemis hurried after her, confused.

Minerva grabbed a menu and ran her finger down the long list. She stopped when she reached the most expensive dish.

"I would like that, Mister Wealth," she said. "And you haven't answered my question."

"Why do you want to know?" said Artemis, slightly annoyed. He leant back in his seat, crossing his arms.

_Artemis, you're speaking to a lady!_

Artemis sighed inwardly. If he hadn't known it before, he definitely knew now that he wasn't very good with dates. Although, that one time with Holly had been –

_Ah, the fair maiden_.

_Shut. Up._

"I'm sorry," he said. "I haven't been in contact with them for a while now. I would like to live a normal life."

Minerva raised her eyebrows. "Don't take me for an imbecile, Artemis," she said. "Artemis Fowl, living a normal life?"

Artemis shrugged off-handedly. "Things change."

"_You've_ changed," said Minerva, leaning forwards suddenly, her eyes flashing. "Where's the cocky Artemis gone? Is he hiding under that mask, desperately wanting to get out, or have you banished him altogether?"

Artemis opened his mouth, but found he didn't know what to say. Was his old self still present, or had he vanished with Holly? Was this Artemis truly him, or was he wearing a mask?

"I'm afraid I don't have the answer to that question," he said at last, his voice strained. A look of utter shock flitted across Minerva's face.

"A question Artemis doesn't know the answer to," she muttered, almost to herself. "What _is_ this world coming to?" Louder, she said, "All right. You don't want to talk about it. But _I_ would like to talk to the People. I haven't spoken to Holly in _years_…would you happen to know any way in which I could contact her?" She paused. "Or, even better, why don't _you_ get back in touch with her?"

Artemis blanched. "I – no, it's not –"

"I've been thinking, you see," continued Minerva, seemingly oblivious, "About recruiting a third member to my Project. What do you think?"

"I think that is a terrible idea," said Artemis immediately. Minerva blinked.

"What?"

Orion struggled to the surface, enraged at how Artemis was treating the 'other' fair maiden.

"I deeply apologise for my attitude," he gabbled. "I think that's a great idea, although one could expect little less from a lady such as yourself."

Minerva gave him a strange look. "Perhaps you have some kind of medicine you need to –?"

"You can contact Foaly through the email horsesense gnom, or alternatively get an LEP communicator from my manor." Orion smirked.

Minerva smiled widely. "Why, thank you, Arty."

Artemis, huddled in his consciousness, groaned.

"You know," she continued, "I think I can do without dinner for now. How about we walk along the beach instead?"

Orion was on his feet before she had finished her sentence, extending a hand. She grasped it and got up, and to Artemis' chagrin Orion did not let go as they left the restaurant.

"Orion!" Artemis exclaimed. "What on earth are you doing?"

To his utter frustration, Orion did not answer him.

Artemis decided that he might as well sit in his consciousness and think about what to do with Rey Diaz, although that was sort of difficult as he could hear every word that was being exchanged between Orion and Minerva.

"I should like to hold this small, delicate hand in mine forever," said Orion. Artemis felt like crying, and tried to direct his thoughts towards Diaz.

_His location is a mystery. His men will definitely be after me, and they will surely know I am Irish because of my accent – _

"Sometimes I wish we were in the medieval ages, when I could be a knight in shining armour and you the fair princess –"

"That is a misconception – knights were cretins in the medieval ages!" objected Artemis, feeling his face go white with mortification.

_And there is a possibility that they picked up my cell phone, so they could be on my heels any day._

"How do you, such a fair lady, fend off all the hormone-stricken teenagers –?"

_And! And…uh…Diaz…uh…where could he be?_

This had to have been Artemis's least productive thinking time ever.

_Think_.

Artemis touched his fingers to his temples and closed his eyes, shutting off Orion's voice. Flashes of articles and news reports filled his mind, and he began to shift through each one methodically.

_Cobra's Clandestine Lab Discovered by Tourist in Sydney, Australia…_

_Cobra Members Selling Class A Drugs in Papua New Guinea Arrested…_

_Two Murdered in Indonesia, Cobra Suspected…_

Artemis let in a sharp intake of breath, visualising a world map. Australia…Papua New Guinea…Indonesia…

Singapore. There had to be a chance that the Cobra's next destination was Singapore, possibly to sell drugs. They could get much money out of it; people were too afraid to deal there. People in possession of drugs were immediately executed.

_Besides,_ Artemis thought, beginning to get excited, _Singapore is only forty-nine kilometres wide. This is a chance I can't miss_.

Artemis wrestled with Orion for control over his own body again, too overcome by the sudden rush of excitement at the prospect of getting somewhere that he didn't realise what was happening until he felt something soft against his lips. Starting to feel numb, he suddenly realised that Minerva's arms were around his neck.

Had Orion been _kissing_ her while he had a revelation?

_Orion!_

_The fair lady's kisses are like the softest brush of a butterfly's wings._

Minerva began to kiss him deeper, and it was a few seconds before Artemis finally regained control over his numbed limbs. He pulled away from her, stumbling back a few paces, and stared in shock at her.

Minerva looked at him, an irritated expression on her face. "Why did you push me away?"

_Flirt. Flirt. This is what I wanted. I wanted to flirt. This is a good way to forget Holly. This…this…_

Artemis shook his head and ran down the street until Minerva was out of sight.


End file.
